25-year-old woman supports husband as her parents criticize and label him over his complicated relationship with his family: ‘My wife always has my back and any comment that's made about it she always speaks up’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Feb 1, 2025 8:00 PM EST

We men find many things in this life confusing, but our relationship with feelings is really like walking a tightrope. One moment, we're told to open up and share; the next, we're expected to "man up" and swallow said emotions. It's a confusing dance that leaves many men stumbling.

Enter our 25-year-old hero, married into a family where emotions flow like wine. His in-laws, baffled by his apparent detachment, suggest he'd be closer to his own family if he just "picked up the phone." Little do they know, his loved ones make the Addams Family look warm and fuzzy.

At a family dinner, our guy finds himself at a crossroads. Swallow his feelings or, once and for all, let 'em loose? With his supportive wife by his side, he chooses the latter. In a moment of raw honesty, he lays bare his family's dysfunction. 

It's awkward. It's uncomfortable. It's like watching a car crash in slow motion only with feelings instead of vehicles. The in-laws are left reeling, their assumptions about "typical guys" shattered.

Was it too much? Perhaps. But sometimes, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do - even if that means turning a family dinner into a heartfelt therapy session.

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  • "AITA for oversharing to my ILs when they called me on being a typical guy who doesn't put effort into maintaining his family relationships?"

    "My wife agreed with me and told them she hoped it would be the last time"
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • My wife (25f) comes from a close and happy family. Both parents really involved with their kids, who spent time with and enjoyed their kids. All the siblings getting along well and being there for
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  • In the end, our man may not have won "Son-in-law of the Year," but he did prove that navigating the treacherous waters of family dynamics and men’s emotions is no easy feat. At least he has a supportive wife to be his emotional life jacket.

  • each other. Family dinners on a regular basis. Being in each other's weddings as bridesmaids/groomsmen. They talk almost every day and have a very active family group chat. If someone in the family needs help they will be there. Even if it's in the middle of the night.
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  • Cheezburger Image 10461280768
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I (25m) come from a very different family. None of my family came to our wedding, didn't even RSVP, and they were invited. I can't think of a single person in my family I'm close
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  • with. The rest of my family isn't close either. Once we turned 18 we were expected to leave our parents house and there was no support. The sibling relationships were pretty volatile. My parents
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  • don't want to hear from any of us unless we're de d, which would be hard but that's exactly what my dad said. My mom might have been in hospital last year. I still don't know. I tried calling my
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  • dad and he didn't answer. He texted that he didn't appreciate multiple calls and I told him what I heard but he ignored my question whether mom was okay. I tried texting her and got no
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  • reply. I only know she's alive because she left a voice message several weeks after saying she didn't want any of us thinking we could come home for Christmas. I'm not sure I have the correct number for most of my siblings.
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Honestly I'm not sure even a death in the family would bring us all back together. I could be an uncle right now and I wouldn't have a clue.
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  • It's the way it is. We never had a close family. As kids we were expected to entertain ourselves and deal with whatever alone. No help from parents and no sibling bond. I'm the youngest and it was my normal.
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  • My experience with my family meant my wife's family was really surreal to me. I had never been around people who cared so much about each other and
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  • I was upfront about my family situation. My wife knew everything and had been with me during the rare call with a family member and she was stunned by the total indifference and lack of care. She's never actually spoken to a single member of my family.
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  • We spend time with hers frequently and since we got married 7 months ago it's become pretty clear my ILs think I'm just being one of those "can't be assed to make the effort with
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  • Then a couple of weeks ago we met for a big family dinner and MIL made the comment that if I picked up the phone sometime and talked to my family members I'd be closer to them. My wife told her it's not as simple and they're not interested. Both her
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  • parents responded with something like maybe they're tired of chasing after their kids. My wife said they shouldn't put the blame on me when we'd explained it. They said they simply couldn't buy that an entire
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  • family cares so little for one another. I ended up going into exactly how it had been growing up and the expectation to move out at 18 and never come back to our parents. I read the few texts | had from family members and
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  • even read out and went through the details of the mom maybe being in the hospital stuff. I showed them my phone and everything. I told them that was
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  • the reality of my family. That's just how mine are and that while I appreciate they have a close one and can't imagine it. They didn't get to put all that on me.
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  • My wife agreed with me and told them she hoped it would be the last time it was ever mentioned but her family felt like I overshared and made dinner awkward. Maybe I did go a little over the top with it. AITA?
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  • Difficult Idea2844 They're the ones who overstepped. I'm glad your wife is supporting you. ETA: NTA
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  • geekylace You made things awkward? Oh no, those were the consequences of their behaviour by prying into something that's already been explained to them. Maybe next time they'll stay in their lane?
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  • Affectionate-War7655 They refused to believe you with anything short of the full story. You can't possibly share enough for those kinds of people, until you do share enough then it's too much. They're just judging you and thought that would be an iron clad judgement. They're most mad that their judgement isn't vindicated.
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  • DownShatCreek You just went from one creepy unhealthy family to another.
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  • Senior-Tradition4171 NTA - in laws made the judgemental comments, you just set them straight. Next time tell them - Don't open Pandora's box if you don't want to find out what comes out of it.
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Tags

family drama aita AITAH brother mother tradition siblings family feud favoritism wedding aunt father in law in laws mother in law sister fiancé Father
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